21 things I hate about being “matrimonialized” !

(Matrimonialized is a term I have coined for someone who succumbs to the idea of finding "the one" by registering on a matrimonial site)

21 things I hate about being "matrimonialized"
 
1. Becoming an object for sale. The object gets picked depending on how appealing it is to the eye.

2.Taking extreme measures to write the” about me” column as honestly as possible, thus setting the in-built filter, out of  fear of choosing the wrong guy.

3.Being judged by strangers (read as groom-to-be’s) + their parents + their siblings + their grandparents + their neighbours + their family friends+ pets etc.

4. Giving telephonic interviews to over-enthusiastic sister(s) even before their brother has seen your profile and given consent.

5. Facing rejection on a daily basis, to the extent that you think it’s a Deja-Vu!!!!!! (I swear!)

6. Uploading pictures in a given format (traditional, modern, casual) while most guys get away with just the modern/casual pics

7. Going to photo studio all dressed up and getting your picture taken and seeing a “glowing” version of you in a vaguely contrasted background in print.

8. Taking two pictures for the profile – One with glasses, one without glasses (What the?)

9. Finding someone with whom you can actually connect to (a very rare occurrence) and facing the big obstacle of the “kattams” and “rajju’s” and what not’s!( Kattam, Rajju - terms related to one's horoscope)

10. Becoming a “paid member” in all sorts of matrimonial sites (region wise, cast wise, intercaste wise, religion wise)

11. Facing everyone from your boss to your onnu-vitta athai (Distant aunt)inquiring about the progress made in matrimonial search (Suddenly your problem is everyone’s problem!)


12. Having to lie about your eating habits just because you feel that you would stop eating chicken once you start cooking it.

13. When everyone around you is busy getting married and you are busy planning about what to wear for their weddings and what pictures to take of yourself to post as profile picture in some matrimonial site.

14. Getting tired of “catching the attention” of the wrong types (Eg : You have caught the attention of so-and-so mails that flood your inbox)

15. Declining the interests sent by uncles (old men) and thinking for one fraction of a second if all this is even worth it!

16. Not getting replies for personalized messages and sending reminders to people demanding a reply! (thus establishing one's right in hearing a NO)


17. Fighting the urge to succumb to parental pressure,especially when your instincts are screaming “NO” to a particular groom-to-be's profile.

18. Your time of birth has more to say than you or your birth for that matter!

19. That people read “Inter caste” as “no caste” (Sigh India!)

20. You question the rationale behind proverbs like “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” or quotes imprinted in memory like “the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”, “If it’s meant to happen it will happen” etc

21. You keep searching for that one person with (diminishing) hopes that he is searching for you too!

Ore the freedom!

Scene 1 –Shiva's bedroom - 7.30 a.m.

Alarm goes "Tring!". A startled Shiva wakes up, immediately grabs his phone to check Facebook!  He gets an SMS from a friend. “Happy independence day!” . He smiles and replies in a flow “ thank you” without thinking! Immediately he gets another msg “Call cost Rs1. Balance Rs.10.80”.

(Show a placard that says “SMS will be charged Rs.1  for today” Background music – You n I…in this beautiful world…green grass…blue sky…)

 Narrator (N) : So begins the Independence day of Shiva, a normal guy of today. Lets take a glimpse of a day in his life..oops…the independence day….that is.. :D

Scene 2  - The Hall - 7.40 a.m.

N : Shiva has managed to get out of bed. He turns on the TV as a morning ritual expecting something like this...

Chorus singing : Vande mataram…Vande mataram...

                           Sujalaam..Sufalaam Malayaj Sheetalaam

                           Sasyashyaamalaam Maataram Vande mataram..(slow version)

N: What he sees is...(Shiva pointing the remote at the TV)

Channel 1 : Evan d unna pethan pethan pethan pethan pethan! 

Channel 2 : (an actress giving an interview) “oh…I don’t  wear any make up at all..you see  natural beauty…”

Channel 3 : India tholaikatchigalil mudhal muraiyaga..sudhandira dhinathai munnittu..bla bla bla nadikum…brahmaandamaana thirai padam…kutty puli…! 

Shiva says Cha! and turns off his TV

Scene 3 - Outdoor. 8 a.m. 

N : Shiva is ready to play some cricket with his neighbour’s kid.

Kid : Anna! You should get me a chocolate if you get out in the first over itself!

Shiva : Ok da deal !

(Demo..kid bowling..shiva batting..he gets out in the second ball. Background -  chale chalo from lagaan)

Kid : outttu!!! (screaming)

Shiva : (Grinning)OK..Let's go to school. After flag hoisting we can get chocolates and "kutty" flag for free! 

Scene 4 - The walk to school 8.30 a.m.

N : Shiva and the kid are on their way to school.

Kid : Anna..I ‘ve read about Independence day in a history lesson

N : Shiva ‘s mind voice thinks “enkitaye scene podriya?”

Shiva : Ok name some freedom fighters you know..

Kid  : after a short pause – Gandhiji, Nehruji

Shiva : ok Aprom..(then)

Kid : Avlo than enaku theriyum ( I know only so much)

Shiva : Appo bhagat singh, mangal pandey  laam…??

Kid : Amir Khan!!! Ajai Devgun!!! (Excited and jumping up and down)

Shiva : Hits his forehead . Sutham!

Scene 5 - School 8.45 a.m.

School choir singing - Acham Acham illai song from Indra.

Flag hoisting followed by the National Anthem.

N : Post National Anthem, chocolates are distributed. Shiva gets an SMS from a friend which reads.." Hey machi..come home..lets celebrate independence day our way! I have a surprise!"

Shiva to the kid  – Hey. You go home now. We'll play later.

Scene 6 - At Shiva's friends place 10 a.m.

Shiva : Hey dude wats kappening ?? (like in kasu panam dudu..song)

Friend : Va da..  (and takes him to the computer. After a few minutes of clicking and opening " My computer", he reveals a video)

Friend : Here's the video of the first ODI of the India Vs Pakistan match which happened on  1st Oct 1978!  Happy Indepence day machi!!

(A speechless Shiva gives him a hug)

(Commentator speaking in the background)

(Shiva and his friend are engrossed in the match and  cheer at the players) 

N : This is Independence day in the life of youth today…atleast most of the youth..Once upon a time, people came together to die for a nation. Now people come together to cheer for a nation. Or die for banning films! That is India today!  Be the change you want to see.. Happy Independence Day!

(start music)

Thaaye un peyar sollum podhe idayathil min alai paayume

Ini varum kaalam ilaignarin kaalam un kadal mellisai paayume

Thaai aval pol oru jeevan illai..aval kaal adi pol sorgham veru illai..

Thaai mannai pol oru bhoomi illai..Bharadham engalin swaasame

Unthan desathin kural

Tholai dhoorathil adho..

Seviyil vizhaathaaaa....

Sondha veedunnai vaa endru azhaikudhada thamizha

Andha naatkalai ninai
Avai neengumaa unnai
Nizhal pol varadhaaa...
Ayal naadundhan veedalla viduthi ada thamizha..!

(Humming from unthan desathin kural..) 

The end!

P.S. - The story ends at 10 a.m. with the match. It is quite obvious that the fellows would not stop with one match. So the rest of the day proceeds in a similar fashion with patriotism coming out only in the form of cheering for India during a cricket match! 

Courtesy - Office gang for the brainstorming sessions which formed the basis for this script. The Hindu Metroplus for the article about the pathetic state of the families of the freedom fighters who sacrificed their lives for a free India. 

Mangatha Da!!

It happened last night when I was figuring out the laws of the universe by counting numbers backwards (thus trying to induce sleep!). Out of nowhere, I got this sudden urge to post a review about the movie Mangatha. It was probably the effect of listening to the "one track" on different radio stations over and over again that the only thing stuck in my head at the wee hours of the morning was "MANGATHA DA! " :P ! I groped for my mobile and checked the time. It was close to 12.20a.m. Mom and Dad were fast asleep. I thought I'd let it go and try blogging sometime later. But my mind refused to give up. I started going through the entire movie in my head and I realized that I definitely had to start now. It was like now or never!! Grabbing a couple of tissue papers by my side, I started jotting down everything that came to my head.

Likes

1. The title and the director's touch in the last few scenes, explaining the nomenclature!
2. Ajith's salt and pepper look
3. Trisha's wardrobe
4. The plot (Brilliant)
   
5. Lack of sentiments (Brutality through n through!)
   
6. The twist in the climax
7. Premji - IIT Gold medalist ( Compensates for a (-)Santhanam movie! ;)
8. Goa!!!
   
9. Machi open the bottle and the other one-liners!
   
10. Trisha does not meet Ajith in Singapore! ;-)

Dislikes

1. Spelling it as Mankatha!
   
2. Poor Dialogues ( And their incomprehension due to the "cigarrete hindrance")
3. Pace in the first half ( slow pick up! )
4. Lakshmi Rai (:O) and her sudden entry into "the plot" (Probably because they couldn't recruit "Sheila" and they had an "almost item number" in hand!)
5. Anjali, Andrea ( Who? where?Hmm.. Male centric? )
6. "Vaada Bin Lada" track - Lame entry!
   
7. The Paradox with the Climax! ( The twist in the end comes in the last few minutes. By the time you appreciate it with :O on the face, it's gone. In order to see if it all fits, now in full awareness of the twist, you will need to watch the movie again. But then, the truth is you can't watch it more than once! By you, I strictly mean " I " :D!)

Neutral ( Read as "Can't decide!")

1. Smoky effect in the movie
2. The other co-actors presence in the movie (including Arjun)
3. Yuvan's Music
4. Premji's effort in comedy

Lessons from Mangatha!

Money... lots of Money --> People See Money --> People Cheat --> Go Home Now ( And Yeah! Take care of your money ! )

Money Conquered Them All !


Jest for Jolly!

AH : A could've acted a little.
AF : How dare you?!! (Thrashes AH)
IB : What happened?
AF : He says A could've acted a little in M.
(IB immediately starts thrashing AH too! )
IB Justifies : How dare you!! Of course A has acted - A LITTLE! ( ;-) )

(Ref : A - Ajith, M- Check title :P , AF - Ajith Fan, AH- Ajith Hater, IB - Innocent by-stander, GSS - God Save Sow!! :D )

Dear Mom...or rather..Amma!!

You are no chef, but you are an amazing cook...
You are not a teacher, but you have always corrected my mistakes...
You are no magician, but you can always make my sorrows fly...
You are no architect, but you have built and shaped my character...
You are not an explorer, but you discover joy in everything I do...
You are no priest, but you forgive so easily...
You are not God, but you made us (with some assistance of course! :D)
Mother, you are the most divine of all creation!

-Love you forever
Sowmie

Eve-ism!

The clock strikes 12. It's noon and I'm in my room, listening to music , musing about life and also reading a book. Yup! Multitasking! It's an interesting way of mixing thoughts with whatever you're reading and then end up going "hmmm!" for a while, thus establishing a jobless, sleepy Saturday afternoon! Just when I'm bringing in some focus to the book I was "supposedly" reading, my mobile goes beep! The text message from my friend says "Women's day is coming up! We have a plan for printing a tee shirt. Check your mail right away! ". A smile and a frown compete for my attention - smile at the thought of getting another tee shirt and frown at the thought of getting up from my cozy corner to connect to the internet! Yeah! Born lazy! I connected to gmail and found my inbox glowing - happy at the thought of receiving an actual mail, other than Linked-in Reminders, Tweets and updates from Facebook , Orkut or just someone's status update on Buzz! I tried hard to bring back that smile on my face again and opened the mail. There were two attachments - both pictures downloaded from the internet. I submit the same for thy perusal ! ! ( Hahaha! Just kidding! Found the line extremely hilarious! Perusal! Why the hell does that sound like a turn on to me?! :D ) The first was about feminism and girl power while the second one was about evolution (atleast technically!! )

As soon as I saw the pictures, I realized just one thing. Women today are better than they were before. On a logically intentioned positive note, in comparison to women a few decades back, there's been massive changes in terms of development, independence, freedom of thought , expression and repression. Changes have happened and women sure have evolved. Being a newbee to the corporate world, everyday I find atleast 10 women inspiring me in one way or the other. I think we are fast approaching a balance that some "wise women" dreamt of years ago, atleast in the urban sectors! The term "weaker sex" is on its way to extinction. I'm more a supporter of equality than feminism as such. Having made that lame statement, I immediately type feminism on my search bar. Wikipedia comes to my rescue(as always!) Feminism refers to movements at defining, establishing and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women. (So, I am a feminist after all! *Phew!* ). Gender equality! The term itself is a distant dream. It's funny to expect this from a society that hasn't even recognized its third gender! Talk about equality and social rights for women. While female foeticide is still in practice in several parts of the country, it is depressing to find that the person committing the act is a woman, a female! The use of young girls for sex trade, sexual harassment at work places, domestic violence against women and the list goes on. While one half of the nation has developed to an extent of seeing women achieving greater heights in politics, sports, media, business, the other half of the nation is still caught in a web of poverty and dowry and hence opt for female foeticide! If someone's said that education is the basis for earning bread (which I'm sure noone has and it was just my mind in action!) the first step to this many-step approach is to make things available to all. When equality doesn't exist amongst people of the same race, then how can we expect it to exist amongst genders? I strongly believe that with education comes understanding. The next step is to stop portraying women stereotypes, especially in the media sector - tv serials, movies, "item" numbers! What is missing is mutual respect for all three genders ( stressing hard on the "three"!). This lack of mutual respect from all individuals somehow disrupts the balance, even if virtually achieved if not virtuously! Have we got our definitions right in the first place? Can mere acceptance change the outlook of an entire society? In a room of 10 people, atleast 8 of them don't have an opinion in anything(will be referred to as "neutralists" in the post). Of the two that remain, assuming them both to be men, the chances of finding even "half a feminist" in even one of them is far fetched! Picturing this itself is complicated! The problem with us is we are happy being "partial neutralists" ! Female foeticide! And we go "Oh shit! Soooo sad!" (By using "we", I include myself diligently!) I'm not discussing poverty issues. Nor am I discussing prostitution. Because the former is reality and the latter is choice - both of which I have no right to comment upon. The neutralists are high on acceptance, to the point that nothing has a strong impact on them. A lot of men I know think that equality is just physical and immediately try to prove the point with a hapless effort to host an arm wrestling match! Ofcourse men are physically stronger than women. That doesn't make women weaker in any sense. Does it? Women are strong, men are stronger despite being a part of the same human race! I guess it's as simple as that! If every person can just realize this, I don't think there would be any need for reservations !

Somebody said something :

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." - Clare Boothe Luce

On a funny note :

" Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors" - Evelyn Cunningham

Funnier :

"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece" - Author unknown

P.S : I picked the evolution picture!

eH! Is everything okay?

I've never been in this point of life where everything I look at tells me something, has some memory or the other to it. Where's the good in goodbye? Why is it so difficult to say it out loud? Why does it have to hit me only in the last minute..when I'm packing my bags and ready to leave? What's so overwhelming about this whole goodbye thing!?! Don't I trust myself? Can't I stay in touch? Is this because I failed to keep in touch the last time I said goodbye?! Why am I downloading all the songs with the word goodbye in them now? Don't I know that it would only make things worse? What the hell am I doing even blogging this? Am I making a memory out of the way I'm feeling right now? Guess not! But yeah...I'm jobless now and have 9 hours to kill before I take my train. 9 hours to cherish my final days in Goa. The magical Goa. 9 hours to think about all the things I'll be doing in 10years to bring me back here. 9 hours to think about all the people I'll be missing...9 hours to think about all the hugs yet to be shared...(Yeah the dots are back! Just beat it!)....9 hours to feel things I've never felt before...9 hours to pay my respect to those who taught me and made my stay an intellectual experience...9 hours to have the final cheese maggi with coke float, donut and tea. 9 hours to think about everything that has to go into my book of life, 9 hours to think about the small moments we've had in the silliest places ever. I guess the rambling will go on for the next 9 hours, probably in different mediums (blog is just one.Should stop using it like my journal!) I guess it would be appropriate to say the damned words now...! Goodbye Goa. Love you and will miss you every single day!

BBC's list of 100 books

Have you read more than 6 of these books? The BBC believes most people will have read only 6 of the 100 books listed here. Copy this into your NOTES. Bold those books you've read in their entirety, italicize the ones you started but didn't finish or read an excerpt. Tag other potential book nerds. Tag me as well so I can see your responses.


1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulk
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveler’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Fahrenheit 451 - Ray Bradbury
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma -Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe - CS Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - A.A. Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 The Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Inferno - Dante
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - E.B. White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery (English)
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

P.S - Bold - Books I've read
Italics - Books I started reading but never completed
Bold+Italics - Books I did not read because I saw the movie first!

I'm tagging - Shara, Shruti, DPR, Dad, Niru, Disney, Niranjan