Stumped!

This happens whenever I take a train from Chennai to Bangalore (Ahem..read as whenever I travel alone!). After taking consecutive modes of transportation(share auto, train/bus, natarajar service), one would arrive at the Central station at least an hour before departure. After going through the not-so-thorough security check, one faces a huge hall buzzing with life. A big crowd stands around the neon board announcing departure/arrival information. One places oneself at a myopically convenient distance from the board, throwing a glance around to test luck by looking for an empty chair. Since one has arrived a tad too early, the wait is inevitable. There are two kinds of waiting you have to do at the station (if you are an early bird that is!) - one is the waiting you do at the huge hall until the platform number appears magically on the neon board. The other is the waiting you do at the platform, on a bench(if lucky) until the time of departure, even if the train has already made its presence felt! At any station, the crowd is diverse, in the sense, a visual treat to someone who kills time by indulging in "people watching". A constant voice inside the head (will be referred to as "the V" ) blabbers about anything and everything that meets the eye from the passengers to the railway crew to the vendors to the staunch of the dried fish in wooden crates! The V spares none. V makes trivial comments about folks who litter to the folks who jitter nonstop! After a while of  switching alternate foot and balancing the luggage, the platform number flashes on the board and a wave of human forms rush in different directions approaching their respective trains/platforms. The V becomes excited too, just like the others and keeps chanting the one number like a mantra until the destination arrives( *5..5...5.. for platform 5*) !

At Platform 5

The train arrives after a good fifteen minutes by which time the V has already convinced one to purchase a "plastic water bottle" for the night, silently making the one feel guilty about not getting her own bottle of water and thus adding to the waste generation!!  After a reluctant purchase of a "Rail Neer", one is faced with the vision of an approaching train.Then starts the confusion

The V is baffled! Which way reads right? Which way should one take? So from Chennai to Bangalore, 12657, the arrow points towards the left. So are the coaches going to be 1-end from right to left ??  One looks around to find a majority of travellers ridiculously forming similar lines of confusion on their foreheads! After a quick observation, with a declaration from the V that there must be a mistake, one does what every other person was doing... Wait for the chart to identify the correct coach! Then like Superman, a guy goes around sticking charts declaring the names, ages, sexes of the so and so's about to undergo a journey! Thankfully the chart always has the coach number stuck on top! Noticing this, a wave of human forms make sudden movements trying to overtake each other to reach their respective coaches. One crosses the coach S7 and the V curses whoever was lucky enough to get S7 ( Only S7 reads the same both ways !) After some huffing and puffing, one reaches the correct coach and the V is enthused to find one's name and quickly checks out "the others" (mostly in their prime 60's every other time :D). The V makes a remark and boards the train in relief!

Rewind button!

This happened a while ago. I was travelling alone from Chennai to Nagercoil by train. My Dad had booked in ladies quota. I was expecting only ladies to be around, which was a little comforting in a way. I boarded the train, huffing and puffing with just 5 minutes to spare. I began chaining my luggage and securing it with a lock, finding a place for my water bottle, all this while in short of breath. Only after completing the above mentioned ritual did I relax and for the first time after boarding the train, I took a deep breath, throwing around a glance at my co-passengers.

Everybody around had one book or the other in hand about "God" and I didn't want to disturb anyone. Sitting right in front of me was this elegantly dressed lady(will be referred to as aunty from now on) deeply engrossed in her book about God. She seemed to be in her late 50's. While I was busy taking a mental note of everything about aunty, she suddenly looked up, caught my eye and threw me a smile. I smiled back and asked her the only thing I could think of at that moment "When will we reach Nagercoil? "

She answered "8 o'clock" and asked me where I wanted to go.  Even before I could answer, the other lady in the window seat (corner lady) jumped into the conversation. It was kind of like a relief to her that somebody was talking and she was only too glad to jump in. Next to me was an old lady who was reading some notes she had taken in some class. I tried to take a sneak peek but couldn't fathom much. She was the oldest of the ladies there. I immediately offered her my lower berth for two reasons:

1) I always offer my lower berth to anyone so that my mom would get lower berth whenever she travels, thus adhering to what my Dad keeps quoting "one good turn deserves another".
2) I needed to get up late and was desperate for an upper berth so that I wouldn't be disturbed!(the ugly truth!)

The old lady had a middle which I accepted (silently cursing my luck). I have always resented the middle berth. I don't know why they went to such great lengths to make it so crammy. My thoughts were interrupted suddenly by the corner lady who gave everyone a picture (I will look for it and post it when I find it)

It was a picture of God with a quote. It was beautiful and I thought it was a definite sign (of what ? I still don't remember)

It was then time for dinner. One person opened her box and soon everyone opened theirs. It reminded me of the guy who waves the flag to commence a race. I had bought lemon rice from the irctc canteen (part of the reason for my last minute entry). Once the eating started, the sharing automatically happened. I was surprised more by the corner lady's kindness than anyone else. She gave me a poori to compensate for the lemon rice I was hogging( yes! I can do that!). I found her to be nice. Amidst conversation, my mind automatically went to what I would do after dinner. The mind forms my next question based on this simple logic:

Food - sleep - where? - middle - upper? - exchange? - try luck? 

The question - Who has taken the upper berths?? 

Immediately Aunty said she got one and exchanged it with corner lady. The other upper berth was alloted to an obscure character travelling with us. She was about my age. I guess I missed her description because she was on the window seat on my side, beyond the scope of my observation. Since she was young, I din't see any point in asking for the upper berth. And she didn't join in on any conversation and seemed engrossed in her phone( which I noted when the food sharing was happening).  So I decided to probe the corner lady. Slowly, I timed my question properly and asked "Is it okay for you? You're in saree? I can go up if you want".  Then the corner lady once again surprised me by quoting my thoughts saying "No problem! I want to sleep well and not be disturbed". What could I say to that?? Post dinner, she proved me wrong when she managed to climb up so gracefully, though clad in a saree, something I have always thought to be impossible to achieve!  This changed what little I knew about sarees and took up my respect for the corner lady by a notch.

Accepting defeat, I crashed early. I got up a couple of times in between and one last time around 7 to find only aunty in the bay. All the others had got down in some station. We had 1 hour to kill.

As soon as  I climbed down or rather jumped down straight, aunty said " I thought I'll wake you up by 7. You got up early!" That was when I knew that my watch was 10 minutes fast! Darn! I hate overtaking my alarm clock/time ! But I didn't dwell on it too much. I just smiled and marched off to the basin to brush my teeth.

By the time I got back, I had lost all apprehension about trying to manage the 1 hour left. Slowly aunty and me engaged in small talk. She told me about herself. I allowed her to talk punctuating my presence with "oho" s and "oh apidiya"s. Somehow it seemed like she wanted - her to talk and me to listen and not the other way around. So I listened. She said that she had  lost her husband a year ago to heart attack and after that her world revolved around her kids. I probably would have heard the exact sentence in movies/sitcoms or read it somewhere a zillion times. But sitting in front of aunty and hearing those words.. felt real..yea that's the truth. Somehow it felt like I was getting a glimpse into the life of another person. Was I destined to know this? How is me knowing this helping? I don't know. But what I do know is that it could've been just anybody. She had to tell it to someone and I was chosen. That was all that mattered. Soon we reached the destination. We got down. I helped her with herluggage. We didn't exchange names or numbers. I shook hands with her saying "nice meeting you aunty" and she simply said " if God's willing, we' ll meet again".

Here I am blogging this incident which happened a long time back. I still remember her face. I do hope we will meet and recognize eachother someday for that one good conversation we shared on the train to Nagercoil.

21 things I hate about being “matrimonialized” !

(Matrimonialized is a term I have coined for someone who succumbs to the idea of finding "the one" by registering on a matrimonial site)

21 things I hate about being "matrimonialized"
 
1. Becoming an object for sale. The object gets picked depending on how appealing it is to the eye.

2.Taking extreme measures to write the” about me” column as honestly as possible, thus setting the in-built filter, out of  fear of choosing the wrong guy.

3.Being judged by strangers (read as groom-to-be’s) + their parents + their siblings + their grandparents + their neighbours + their family friends+ pets etc.

4. Giving telephonic interviews to over-enthusiastic sister(s) even before their brother has seen your profile and given consent.

5. Facing rejection on a daily basis, to the extent that you think it’s a Deja-Vu!!!!!! (I swear!)

6. Uploading pictures in a given format (traditional, modern, casual) while most guys get away with just the modern/casual pics

7. Going to photo studio all dressed up and getting your picture taken and seeing a “glowing” version of you in a vaguely contrasted background in print.

8. Taking two pictures for the profile – One with glasses, one without glasses (What the?)

9. Finding someone with whom you can actually connect to (a very rare occurrence) and facing the big obstacle of the “kattams” and “rajju’s” and what not’s!( Kattam, Rajju - terms related to one's horoscope)

10. Becoming a “paid member” in all sorts of matrimonial sites (region wise, cast wise, intercaste wise, religion wise)

11. Facing everyone from your boss to your onnu-vitta athai (Distant aunt)inquiring about the progress made in matrimonial search (Suddenly your problem is everyone’s problem!)


12. Having to lie about your eating habits just because you feel that you would stop eating chicken once you start cooking it.

13. When everyone around you is busy getting married and you are busy planning about what to wear for their weddings and what pictures to take of yourself to post as profile picture in some matrimonial site.

14. Getting tired of “catching the attention” of the wrong types (Eg : You have caught the attention of so-and-so mails that flood your inbox)

15. Declining the interests sent by uncles (old men) and thinking for one fraction of a second if all this is even worth it!

16. Not getting replies for personalized messages and sending reminders to people demanding a reply! (thus establishing one's right in hearing a NO)


17. Fighting the urge to succumb to parental pressure,especially when your instincts are screaming “NO” to a particular groom-to-be's profile.

18. Your time of birth has more to say than you or your birth for that matter!

19. That people read “Inter caste” as “no caste” (Sigh India!)

20. You question the rationale behind proverbs like “don’t judge a book by it’s cover” or quotes imprinted in memory like “the universe conspires in helping you achieve it”, “If it’s meant to happen it will happen” etc

21. You keep searching for that one person with (diminishing) hopes that he is searching for you too!

Ore the freedom!

Scene 1 –Shiva's bedroom - 7.30 a.m.

Alarm goes "Tring!". A startled Shiva wakes up, immediately grabs his phone to check Facebook!  He gets an SMS from a friend. “Happy independence day!” . He smiles and replies in a flow “ thank you” without thinking! Immediately he gets another msg “Call cost Rs1. Balance Rs.10.80”.

(Show a placard that says “SMS will be charged Rs.1  for today” Background music – You n I…in this beautiful world…green grass…blue sky…)

 Narrator (N) : So begins the Independence day of Shiva, a normal guy of today. Lets take a glimpse of a day in his life..oops…the independence day….that is.. :D

Scene 2  - The Hall - 7.40 a.m.

N : Shiva has managed to get out of bed. He turns on the TV as a morning ritual expecting something like this...

Chorus singing : Vande mataram…Vande mataram...

                           Sujalaam..Sufalaam Malayaj Sheetalaam

                           Sasyashyaamalaam Maataram Vande mataram..(slow version)

N: What he sees is...(Shiva pointing the remote at the TV)

Channel 1 : Evan d unna pethan pethan pethan pethan pethan! 

Channel 2 : (an actress giving an interview) “oh…I don’t  wear any make up at all..you see  natural beauty…”

Channel 3 : India tholaikatchigalil mudhal muraiyaga..sudhandira dhinathai munnittu..bla bla bla nadikum…brahmaandamaana thirai padam…kutty puli…! 

Shiva says Cha! and turns off his TV

Scene 3 - Outdoor. 8 a.m. 

N : Shiva is ready to play some cricket with his neighbour’s kid.

Kid : Anna! You should get me a chocolate if you get out in the first over itself!

Shiva : Ok da deal !

(Demo..kid bowling..shiva batting..he gets out in the second ball. Background -  chale chalo from lagaan)

Kid : outttu!!! (screaming)

Shiva : (Grinning)OK..Let's go to school. After flag hoisting we can get chocolates and "kutty" flag for free! 

Scene 4 - The walk to school 8.30 a.m.

N : Shiva and the kid are on their way to school.

Kid : Anna..I ‘ve read about Independence day in a history lesson

N : Shiva ‘s mind voice thinks “enkitaye scene podriya?”

Shiva : Ok name some freedom fighters you know..

Kid  : after a short pause – Gandhiji, Nehruji

Shiva : ok Aprom..(then)

Kid : Avlo than enaku theriyum ( I know only so much)

Shiva : Appo bhagat singh, mangal pandey  laam…??

Kid : Amir Khan!!! Ajai Devgun!!! (Excited and jumping up and down)

Shiva : Hits his forehead . Sutham!

Scene 5 - School 8.45 a.m.

School choir singing - Acham Acham illai song from Indra.

Flag hoisting followed by the National Anthem.

N : Post National Anthem, chocolates are distributed. Shiva gets an SMS from a friend which reads.." Hey machi..come home..lets celebrate independence day our way! I have a surprise!"

Shiva to the kid  – Hey. You go home now. We'll play later.

Scene 6 - At Shiva's friends place 10 a.m.

Shiva : Hey dude wats kappening ?? (like in kasu panam dudu..song)

Friend : Va da..  (and takes him to the computer. After a few minutes of clicking and opening " My computer", he reveals a video)

Friend : Here's the video of the first ODI of the India Vs Pakistan match which happened on  1st Oct 1978!  Happy Indepence day machi!!

(A speechless Shiva gives him a hug)

(Commentator speaking in the background)

(Shiva and his friend are engrossed in the match and  cheer at the players) 

N : This is Independence day in the life of youth today…atleast most of the youth..Once upon a time, people came together to die for a nation. Now people come together to cheer for a nation. Or die for banning films! That is India today!  Be the change you want to see.. Happy Independence Day!

(start music)

Thaaye un peyar sollum podhe idayathil min alai paayume

Ini varum kaalam ilaignarin kaalam un kadal mellisai paayume

Thaai aval pol oru jeevan illai..aval kaal adi pol sorgham veru illai..

Thaai mannai pol oru bhoomi illai..Bharadham engalin swaasame

Unthan desathin kural

Tholai dhoorathil adho..

Seviyil vizhaathaaaa....

Sondha veedunnai vaa endru azhaikudhada thamizha

Andha naatkalai ninai
Avai neengumaa unnai
Nizhal pol varadhaaa...
Ayal naadundhan veedalla viduthi ada thamizha..!

(Humming from unthan desathin kural..) 

The end!

P.S. - The story ends at 10 a.m. with the match. It is quite obvious that the fellows would not stop with one match. So the rest of the day proceeds in a similar fashion with patriotism coming out only in the form of cheering for India during a cricket match! 

Courtesy - Office gang for the brainstorming sessions which formed the basis for this script. The Hindu Metroplus for the article about the pathetic state of the families of the freedom fighters who sacrificed their lives for a free India. 

Mangatha Da!!

It happened last night when I was figuring out the laws of the universe by counting numbers backwards (thus trying to induce sleep!). Out of nowhere, I got this sudden urge to post a review about the movie Mangatha. It was probably the effect of listening to the "one track" on different radio stations over and over again that the only thing stuck in my head at the wee hours of the morning was "MANGATHA DA! " :P ! I groped for my mobile and checked the time. It was close to 12.20a.m. Mom and Dad were fast asleep. I thought I'd let it go and try blogging sometime later. But my mind refused to give up. I started going through the entire movie in my head and I realized that I definitely had to start now. It was like now or never!! Grabbing a couple of tissue papers by my side, I started jotting down everything that came to my head.

Likes

1. The title and the director's touch in the last few scenes, explaining the nomenclature!
2. Ajith's salt and pepper look
3. Trisha's wardrobe
4. The plot (Brilliant)
   
5. Lack of sentiments (Brutality through n through!)
   
6. The twist in the climax
7. Premji - IIT Gold medalist ( Compensates for a (-)Santhanam movie! ;)
8. Goa!!!
   
9. Machi open the bottle and the other one-liners!
   
10. Trisha does not meet Ajith in Singapore! ;-)

Dislikes

1. Spelling it as Mankatha!
   
2. Poor Dialogues ( And their incomprehension due to the "cigarrete hindrance")
3. Pace in the first half ( slow pick up! )
4. Lakshmi Rai (:O) and her sudden entry into "the plot" (Probably because they couldn't recruit "Sheila" and they had an "almost item number" in hand!)
5. Anjali, Andrea ( Who? where?Hmm.. Male centric? )
6. "Vaada Bin Lada" track - Lame entry!
   
7. The Paradox with the Climax! ( The twist in the end comes in the last few minutes. By the time you appreciate it with :O on the face, it's gone. In order to see if it all fits, now in full awareness of the twist, you will need to watch the movie again. But then, the truth is you can't watch it more than once! By you, I strictly mean " I " :D!)

Neutral ( Read as "Can't decide!")

1. Smoky effect in the movie
2. The other co-actors presence in the movie (including Arjun)
3. Yuvan's Music
4. Premji's effort in comedy

Lessons from Mangatha!

Money... lots of Money --> People See Money --> People Cheat --> Go Home Now ( And Yeah! Take care of your money ! )

Money Conquered Them All !


Jest for Jolly!

AH : A could've acted a little.
AF : How dare you?!! (Thrashes AH)
IB : What happened?
AF : He says A could've acted a little in M.
(IB immediately starts thrashing AH too! )
IB Justifies : How dare you!! Of course A has acted - A LITTLE! ( ;-) )

(Ref : A - Ajith, M- Check title :P , AF - Ajith Fan, AH- Ajith Hater, IB - Innocent by-stander, GSS - God Save Sow!! :D )

Dear Mom...or rather..Amma!!

You are no chef, but you are an amazing cook...
You are not a teacher, but you have always corrected my mistakes...
You are no magician, but you can always make my sorrows fly...
You are no architect, but you have built and shaped my character...
You are not an explorer, but you discover joy in everything I do...
You are no priest, but you forgive so easily...
You are not God, but you made us (with some assistance of course! :D)
Mother, you are the most divine of all creation!

-Love you forever
Sowmie

Eve-ism!

The clock strikes 12. It's noon and I'm in my room, listening to music , musing about life and also reading a book. Yup! Multitasking! It's an interesting way of mixing thoughts with whatever you're reading and then end up going "hmmm!" for a while, thus establishing a jobless, sleepy Saturday afternoon! Just when I'm bringing in some focus to the book I was "supposedly" reading, my mobile goes beep! The text message from my friend says "Women's day is coming up! We have a plan for printing a tee shirt. Check your mail right away! ". A smile and a frown compete for my attention - smile at the thought of getting another tee shirt and frown at the thought of getting up from my cozy corner to connect to the internet! Yeah! Born lazy! I connected to gmail and found my inbox glowing - happy at the thought of receiving an actual mail, other than Linked-in Reminders, Tweets and updates from Facebook , Orkut or just someone's status update on Buzz! I tried hard to bring back that smile on my face again and opened the mail. There were two attachments - both pictures downloaded from the internet. I submit the same for thy perusal ! ! ( Hahaha! Just kidding! Found the line extremely hilarious! Perusal! Why the hell does that sound like a turn on to me?! :D ) The first was about feminism and girl power while the second one was about evolution (atleast technically!! )

As soon as I saw the pictures, I realized just one thing. Women today are better than they were before. On a logically intentioned positive note, in comparison to women a few decades back, there's been massive changes in terms of development, independence, freedom of thought , expression and repression. Changes have happened and women sure have evolved. Being a newbee to the corporate world, everyday I find atleast 10 women inspiring me in one way or the other. I think we are fast approaching a balance that some "wise women" dreamt of years ago, atleast in the urban sectors! The term "weaker sex" is on its way to extinction. I'm more a supporter of equality than feminism as such. Having made that lame statement, I immediately type feminism on my search bar. Wikipedia comes to my rescue(as always!) Feminism refers to movements at defining, establishing and defending equal political, economic, and social rights and equal opportunities for women. (So, I am a feminist after all! *Phew!* ). Gender equality! The term itself is a distant dream. It's funny to expect this from a society that hasn't even recognized its third gender! Talk about equality and social rights for women. While female foeticide is still in practice in several parts of the country, it is depressing to find that the person committing the act is a woman, a female! The use of young girls for sex trade, sexual harassment at work places, domestic violence against women and the list goes on. While one half of the nation has developed to an extent of seeing women achieving greater heights in politics, sports, media, business, the other half of the nation is still caught in a web of poverty and dowry and hence opt for female foeticide! If someone's said that education is the basis for earning bread (which I'm sure noone has and it was just my mind in action!) the first step to this many-step approach is to make things available to all. When equality doesn't exist amongst people of the same race, then how can we expect it to exist amongst genders? I strongly believe that with education comes understanding. The next step is to stop portraying women stereotypes, especially in the media sector - tv serials, movies, "item" numbers! What is missing is mutual respect for all three genders ( stressing hard on the "three"!). This lack of mutual respect from all individuals somehow disrupts the balance, even if virtually achieved if not virtuously! Have we got our definitions right in the first place? Can mere acceptance change the outlook of an entire society? In a room of 10 people, atleast 8 of them don't have an opinion in anything(will be referred to as "neutralists" in the post). Of the two that remain, assuming them both to be men, the chances of finding even "half a feminist" in even one of them is far fetched! Picturing this itself is complicated! The problem with us is we are happy being "partial neutralists" ! Female foeticide! And we go "Oh shit! Soooo sad!" (By using "we", I include myself diligently!) I'm not discussing poverty issues. Nor am I discussing prostitution. Because the former is reality and the latter is choice - both of which I have no right to comment upon. The neutralists are high on acceptance, to the point that nothing has a strong impact on them. A lot of men I know think that equality is just physical and immediately try to prove the point with a hapless effort to host an arm wrestling match! Ofcourse men are physically stronger than women. That doesn't make women weaker in any sense. Does it? Women are strong, men are stronger despite being a part of the same human race! I guess it's as simple as that! If every person can just realize this, I don't think there would be any need for reservations !

Somebody said something :

"Because I am a woman, I must make unusual efforts to succeed. If I fail, no one will say, "She doesn't have what it takes." They will say, "Women don't have what it takes." - Clare Boothe Luce

On a funny note :

" Women are the only oppressed group in our society that lives in intimate association with their oppressors" - Evelyn Cunningham

Funnier :

"Sure God created man before woman. But then you always make a rough draft before the final masterpiece" - Author unknown

P.S : I picked the evolution picture!